I try not to allow comments
made toward me affect me too much. Yes they can be hurtful, and when my
children are targeted, I do flip a little bit, but the way I see it there are
so many more things in this world that need my attention and energy, like
helping children who have no food, clothing or shelter. I do like to volunteer
and I am always helping my family members with problems they may have. I myself
just say a prayer and move on, but I do understand, that is not always
possible.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Practicing-awareness-of-microaggressions
My micro-aggression
was due to a coworker. I know that she does not mean to be hurtful with her
comments and I personally do not see them as hurtful, sometimes she asks just
to be sure but it is the way she asks or comment that makes it a
micro-aggression. Anyway, we have not that much to do left this year and we
were all sitting around discussing having a cookout next week on our last day.
When the mention of what types of foods we should have was brought up, she
looked at me and was like “well what kinds of foods do you eat?” Now, I have known several of these ladies for
many years, and by now you would think that they know I will eat just about
anything, and this being a cookout, really what would be there that I would not
want? Then I said “what do you mean what foods do I eat, it’s a cookout right?
I will eat whatever is made” she responded, “ok well I was just making sure, I
know some of y’all are picky” Now I could have asked her what she meant by some
of y’all, but I just let it go. I am so tired, this has been a very trying year
and it is almost over, I just say a prayer that God gets me through.
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I have seen time and time again, how others will assume that certain people will only eat certain foods but like you said, it a cookout. There are just to many, what I call "uneducated people" in this world even ones with a college degree, don't know when to put their foot in their mouth. You would like working with others for years they would know what type of person you are. It breaks my heart when people think by asking they are not offending others but these people still need to think before they speak.
ReplyDeleteHi Elizabeth,
ReplyDeleteI just can't believe the things that some people assume and say. To actually say "I know some of y'all are picky" shows bias even though it may be unintentional. Having an awareness of microaggressions is very necessary. I agree with Nina that people really need to think before they speak and consider how what they say may affect others.
Hi Elizabeth,
ReplyDeleteI can see how the comment made by your co-worker can be a form of microagression. If she genuinely wanted to ensure that everyone would like the foods served at the cookout, a better way perhaps could have been "we're having this, this, and that. Is that okay with everyone?" Instead, she directed the commented towards you in a cultural sense. Next time, maybe you should inform her that it made you feel uncomfortable because this could simply be a product of her "not knowing". Or perhaps, she hasn't had a course (such as this one) to help open her mind a little more. I hope everything gets better for you in the workplace. Thanks for sharing!
I think sometimes we need to be the bigger person in situations where people are ignorant, and we know their decisions and approach aren't always used in the best ways. Tolerance is a big part of the ability to see past others faults and try to make a situation better than worse benefits everyone in the long run, "kill them with kindness", my mother always says.
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